Paul, please give Ralph a quick call
By NEIL WAUGH -- Edmonton Sun
 Premier Ralph Klein appears as bothered and perplexed as most Albertans must be over the Ottawa Liberals' game of who's on first.

With Paul Martin making prime ministerial-like tours of the B.C. forest fires alongside B.C. Premier Gordon Campbell, while the real PM, Jean Chretien, is delivering American-bashing speeches at the UN, it's easy to get confused.

"We'll let the Liberals sort that out," Klein sighed, adding that Chretien is "shuffling on pretty slowly."

"A lot of people have been saying he should have retired a long time ago," the premier added. "I agree with them."

But Chretien seems determined to run his string out until February. "He's only got a few more months to go and I don't see how much damage he can do," Klein said.

Unfortunately, Klein made his observations before Chretien shared some of his excellent thoughts about the American involvement in Iraq at the Tower of Babel in New York.

Klein has long held the belief that Martin will somehow become the saviour of Albertans and rescue us from the likes of Sheila Copps, David Anderson and Allan Rock.

It's clearly an act of blind faith that Martin won't fall into the usual pattern of being a West-hating federal Liberal.

But the premier was still sticking to his guns this week. "Statements he has made in the past on issues like Kyoto and health care are encouraging," Klein declared. "I hope he's true to his word."

See what I mean about this blind faith issue?

And Klein's belief in Paul the Good got even more remote when the premier revealed that his one fundamental issue is accountability: "It's the whole issue of patronage and bringing costs under control and avoiding scandals and the abuse of taxpayers' dollars."

Klein may have a little more credibility on the accountability-in-government front if, say, Justice Minister Dave Hancock would tell Albertans what really went on in the West Edmonton Mall affair, where a senior bureaucrat was accused of taking bribes to secure secret financing on the mall through the government's Alberta Treasury Branches, along with allegations that the close associates of the premier directed the whole operation.

Guys who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, Ralph.

"I think his No. 1 priority right now is to restore faith in the Canadian government," Klein said.

But he also didn't seem too convinced the aging multi-millionaire was the man for the job.

"I don't know if I will live long enough," the premier winced. "Perhaps there will be a day."

Curiously, Klein said Martin has never attempted to meet with him during the excessively long Liberal coronation process, while Chretien continues to cling to power.

"If he has time I certainly will sit down and chat with him," the premier said.

Since Martin has being saying recently that one of his first duties is to change Ottawa's "attitude" toward the regions, you'd think the part of the country that has the biggest attitude problem would be at the top of his list.

Martin and Klein better get on it quickly. Because discussions in cabinet this week centred around the upcoming PC policy conference in November, where the hot topic will be Alberta's role in Confederation.

This is the watered-down version of a series of ultimatums that rank-and-file members brought to last spring's Tory party convention where using the "hammer" of separation was actively debated by party delegates.

The party's Red Tory wing tried to suppress it.

PC MLAs were supposed to discuss Alberta's alienation at the fall caucus retreat. But somehow it was mysteriously missing from the agenda.

"Undoubtedly we received a lot of papers and thoughts, all the way from Alberta becoming its own independent sovereign nation to things we can do to strengthen our role in Confederation," Klein said. "There are lots of thoughts out there."

And there's also some new polling showing that only one in three Albertans is willing to vote PC. It also puts the almost invisible Alberta Alliance party in third place in the province.

Paul, call Ralph. Real quick.